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As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself
transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. He was lying on his hard,
as it were armor-plated, back and when he lifted his head a little he
could see his domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments on
top of which the bed quilt could hardly stay in place and was about to
slide off completely. His numerous legs, which were pitifully thin
compared to the rest of his bulk, waved helplessly before his eyes.
What has happened to me? he thought. It was no dream. His
room, a regular human bedroom, only rather too small, lay quiet within its
four familiar walls. Above the table on which a collection of cloth
samples was unpacked and spread out—Samsa was a traveling
salesman—hung the picture which he had recently cut out of an
illustrated magazine and put into a pretty gilt frame. It showed a lady,
with a fur hat on and a fur stole, sitting upright and holding out to the
spectator a huge fur muff into which the whole of her forearm had
vanished!
Gregor's eyes turned next to the window, and the overcast sky—one
could hear raindrops beating on the window gutter—made him quite
melancholy. What about sleeping a little longer and forgetting all this
nonsense, he thought, but it could not be done, for he was accustomed to
sleep on his right side and in his present condition he could not turn
himself over. However violently he forced himself toward his right side he
always rolled onto his back again. He tried it at least a hundred times,
shutting his eyes to keep from seeing his struggling legs, and only
desisted when he began to feel in his side a faint dull ache he had never
felt before.
Oh God, he thought, what an exhausting job I've picked out for
myself! On the road day in, day out. It's much more irritating work than
doing the actual business in the home office, and on top of that there's
the trouble of constant traveling, of worrying about train connections,
the bad food and irregular meals, casual acquaintances that are always new
and never become intimate friends. The devil take it all! He felt a slight
itching up on his belly, slowly pushed himself on his back nearer to the
top of the bed so that he could lift his head more easily, identified the
itching place which was surrounded by many small white spots the nature of
which he could not understand and was about to touch it with a leg, but
drew the leg back immediately, for the contact made a cold shiver run
through him.
He slid down again into his former position. This getting up early,
he thought, can make an idiot out of anyone. A man needs his sleep. Other
salesmen live like harem women. For instance, when I come back to the
hotel in the morning to write up my orders these others are only sitting
down to breakfast. Let me just try that with my boss; I’d be fired on
the spot. Anyhow, that might be quite a good thing for me, who can tell?
If I didn't have to hold back because of my parents I'd have given notice
long ago, I'd have gone to the boss and told him exactly what I think of
him. That would knock him right off his desk! It's a peculiar habit of
his, too, sitting on top of the desk like that and talking down to
employees, especially when they have to come quite near because the boss
is hard of hearing. Well, there's still hope; once I've saved enough money
to pay back my parents' debts to him—that should take another five or
six years—I'll do it without fail. I’ll cut my ties completely then.
For the moment, though, I'd better get up, since my train leaves at five.
He looked at the alarm clock ticking on the chest of drawers.
Heavenly Father! he thought. It was half-past six and the hands were
quietly moving on, it was even past the half-hour, it was getting on
toward a quarter to seven. Had the alarm clock not gone off? From the bed
one could see that it had been properly set for four o'clock; of course it
must have gone off. Yes, but was it possible to sleep quietly through that
ear-splitting noise? Well, he had not slept qui-etly, yet apparently all
the more soundly for that. But what was he to do now? The next train went
at seven o'clock; to catch that he would need to hurry like mad and his
samples weren't even packed, and he himself wasn't feeling particularly
fresh and energetic. And even if he did catch the train he couldn't avoid
a tirade from the boss, since the messenger boy must have been waiting for
the five o'clock train and must have long since reported his failure to
turn up. This messenger was a creature of the boss's, spineless and
stupid. Well, supposing he were to say he was sick? But that would be very
awkward and would look suspicious, since during his five years’
employment he had not been ill once. The boss himself would be sure to
come with the health insurance doctor, would reproach his parents for
their son's laziness, and would cut all excuses short by handing the
matter over to the insurance doctor, who of course regarded all mankind as
perfectly healthy malingerers. And would he be so far wrong in this case?
Gregor really felt quite well, apart from a drowsiness that was quite
inexcusable after such a long sleep, and he was even unusually hungry.
As all this was running through his mind at top speed without his
being able to decide to leave his bed—the alarm clock had just struck a
quarter to seven—there was a cautious tap at the door near the head of
his bed. "Gregor,” said a voice—it was his mother's—"it's
a quarter to seven. Didn't you have a train to catch?" That gentle
voice! Gregor had a shock as he heard his own voice answering hers,
unmistakably his own voice, it was true, but with a persistent horrible
twittering squeak behind it like an undertone, which left the words in
their clear shape only for the first moment and then rose up reverberating
around them to destroy their sense, so that one could not be sure one had
heard them rightly.
Gregor wanted to answer at length and explain
everything, but in the circumstances he confined himself to saying:
"Yes, yes, thank you, Mother, I'm getting up now." The wooden
door between them must have kept the change in his voice from being
noticeable outside, for his mother contented herself with this statement
and shuffled away. Yet this brief exchange of words had made the other
members of the family aware that Gregor was, strangely, still at home, and
at one of the side doors his father was already knocking, gently, yet with
his fist. "Gregor, Gregor," he called, "What's the matter
with you?" And after a little while he called again in a deeper
voice: “Gregor! Gregor!" At the other side door his sister was
saying in a low, plaintive tone: "Gregor? Aren't you well? Do you
need anything?" He answered them both at once: "I'm just about
ready," and did his best to make his voice sound as normal as
possible by enunciating the words very clearly and leaving long pauses
between them. So his father went back to his breakfast, but his sister
whispered: "Gregor, open the door, I beg you." However, he was
not thinking of opening the door, and felt thankful for the prudent habit
he had acquired on the road of locking all doors during the night, even at
home. His immediate intention was to get up quietly
without being disturbed, to put on his clothes and above all eat his
breakfast, and only then to consider what else had to be done, since he
was well aware his meditations would come to no sensible conclusion if he
remained in bed. He remembered that often enough in bed he had felt small
aches and pains, probably caused by lying in awkward positions, which had
proved purely imaginary once he got up, and he looked forward eagerly to
seeing this morning's delusions gradually evaporate. That the change in
his voice was nothing but the precursor of a bad cold, a typical ailment
of traveling salesmen, he had not the slightest doubt.
To get rid of the quilt was quite easy; he had only to inflate
himself a little and it fell off by itself. But the next move was
difficult, especially because he was so unusually broad. He would have
needed arms and hands to hoist himself up; instead he had only the
numerous little legs which never stopped waving in all directions and
which he could not control in the least. When he tried to bend one of them
the first thing it did was to stretch itself out straight; and if he
finally succeeded in making it do what he wanted, all the other legs
meanwhile waved the more wildly in the most painful anal unpleasant way.
“But what's the use of lying idle in bed?" said Gregor to himself.
He thought that he might get out of bed with the lower part of his
body first, but this lower part, which he had not yet seen and of which he
could form no clear picture, proved too difficult to move; it shifted so
slowly; and when finally, almost wild with annoyance, he gathered his
forces together and thrust out recklessly, he had miscalculated the
direction and bumped heavily against the lower end of the bed, and the
stinging pain he felt informed him that precisely this lower part of his
body was at the moment probably the most sensitive. So he tried to get the
top part of himself out first, and cautiously moved his head toward the
edge of the bed. That proved easy enough, and despite its breadth and mass
the bulk of his body at last slowly followed the movement of his head.
Still, when he finally got his head free over the edge of the bed he felt
too scared to go on advancing, for, after all, if he let himself fall in
this way it would take a miracle to keep his head from being injured. And
under no circum-stances could he afford to lose consciousness now,
precisely now; he would rather stay in bed.
But when after a repetition of the same efforts he lay in his
former position again, sighing, and watched his little legs struggling
against each other more wildly than ever, if that were possible, and saw
no way of bringing any calm and order into this senseless confusion, he
told himself again that it was impossible to stay in bed and that the most
sensible course was to risk everything for the smallest hope of getting
away from it. At the same time, however, he did not forget to remind
himself occasionally that cool reflection, the coolest possible, was much
better than desperate resolves. At such moments he focused his eyes as
sharply as possible on the window, but, unfortunately, the prospect of the
morning fog, which enshrouded even the other side of the narrow street,
brought him little encouragement and comfort. “Seven o’clock
already," he said to himself when the alarm clock chimed again,
"seven o'clock already and still such a thick fog." And for a
little while he lay quiet, breathing lightly as if perhaps expecting the
total silence around him to restore all things to their real and normal
condition.
But then he said to himself: "Before it strikes a quarter past
seven I absolutely must be quite out of this bed, without fail. Anyhow, by
that time someone will have come from the office to ask for me, since it
opens before seven." And he began to rock his whole body at once in a
regular rhythm, with the idea of swinging it out of the bed. If he tipped
himself out in that way he could keep his head from injury by lifting it
at a sharp angle as he fell. His back seemed to be hard and was not likely
to suffer from a fall on the carpet. His biggest worry was the loud crash
he would not be able to help making which would probably cause anxiety, if
not terror, behind all the doors. Still, he must take the risk.
When he was already half out of the bed—the new method was more a
game than an effort, for he needed only to shift himself across by rocking
to and fro—it struck him how simple it would be if he could get help.
Twostrong people—he thought of his father and the maid—would be amply
sufficient; they would only have to thrust their arms under his convex
back, lever him out of the bed, bend down with their burden, and then be
patient enough to let him turn himself right over onto the floor, where it
was to be hoped his little legs would then find their proper function.
Well, ignoring the fact that the doors were all locked, should he really
call for help? In spite of his predicament he could not suppress a smile
at the very idea of it.
He had already gotten to the point where he would lose his balance
if he rocked any harder, and very soon he would have to make up his mind
once and for all since in five minutes it would be a quarter past
seven—when the front doorbell rang. "That's someone from the
office,” he said to himself, and grew almost rigid, while his little
legs only thrashed about all the faster. For a moment everything stayed
quiet. "They're not going to open the door," said Gregor to
himself, grasping at some kind of irrational hope. But then of course the
maid went as usual to the door with her determined stride and opened it.
Gregor needed only to hear the first good morning of the visitor to know
immediately who it was—the chief clerk himself. What a fate: to be
condemned to work for a firm where the slightest negligence at once gave
rise to the gravest suspicion! Were all the employees nothing but a bunch
of scoundrels, was there not among them one single loyal devoted man who,
had he wasted only an hour or so of the firm's time in the morning, was so
tormented by conscience as to be driven out of his mind and actually
incapable of leaving his bed? Wouldn't it really have been sufficient to
send an office boy to inquire—if indeed any inquiry were necessary—did
the chief clerk himself have to come and thus indicate to the entire
innocent family that this suspicious circumstance could be investi-gated
by no one less versed in affairs than himself? And more through the
agitation caused by these reflections than through any act of will Gregor
swung himself out of bed with all his strength. There was a loud thump,
but it was not really a crash. His fall was broken to some extent by the
carpet, his back, too, was less stiff than he had thought, and so there
was merely a dull thud, not so very startling. Only he had not lifted his
head carefully enough and had hit it; he turned it and rubbed it on the
carpet in pain and irrita-tion.
"Something fell in there," said the chief clerk in the
adjacent room to the left. Gregor tried to suppose to himself that
something like what had happened to him today might someday happen to the
chief clerk; one really could not deny that it was possible. But, as if in
brusque reply to this supposition, the chief clerk took a couple of firm
steps in the next-door room and his patent leather boots creaked. From the
right-hand room his sister was whispering to inform him of the situation:
"Gregor, the chief clerk's here.” "I know,” muttered Gregor
to himself; but he didn't dare to make his voice loud enough for his
sister to hear it.
"Gregor,” said his father now from the room on the left,
"the chief clerk has come and wants to know why you didn't catch the
early train. We don't know what to say to him. Besides, he wants to talk
to you in person. So open the door, please. He will be good enough to
excuse the mess in your room." “Good morning, Mr. Samsa," the
chief clerk was calling amiably meanwhile. "He's not well," said
his mother to the visitor, while his father was still speaking through the
door, “he's not well, sir, believe me. What else would make him miss a
train! The boy thinks about nothing but his work. It makes me almost cross
the way he never goes out in the evening; he's been here all last week and
has stayed at home every single evening. He just sits there quietly at the
table reading a newspaper or looking through railroad timetables. The only
amusement he gets is working with his jigsaw. For instance, he spent Twoor three evenings cutting out a little picture frame; you would be
surprised to see how pretty it is; it's hanging in his room; you'll see it
in a minute when Gregor opens the door. I must say I'm glad you've come,
sir; we should never have gotten him to unlock the door by ourselves; he's
so obstinate; and I'm sure he's unwell, even if he denied it earlier this
morning." “I'll be right there," said Gregor slowly and
carefully, not moving an inch for fear of losing one word of the
conversation. "I can't think of any other explanation, madam,"
said the chief clerk, "I hope it's nothing serious. Although on the
other hand I must say that we men of business—unfortunately or perhaps
fortunately—very often simply have to ignore any slight indisposition,
since business must be attended to." "Well, can the chief clerk
come in now?" asked Gregor’s father impatiently, again knocking on
the door. "No," said Gregor. In the left-hand room a painful
silence followed this refusal; in the right-hand room his sister began to
sob.
Why didn't his sister join the others? She had probably just gotten
out of bed and hadn't even begun to put on her clothes yet. Well, why was
she crying? Because he wouldn't get up and let the chief clerk in, because
he was in danger of losing his job, and because the head of the firm would
begin dunning his parents again for the old debts? Surely these were
things one didn't need to worry about for the present. Gregor was still at
home and not in the least think-ing of deserting the family. At the
moment, true, he was lying on the carpet and no one who knew the condition
he was in could seriously expect him to admit the chief clerk. But for
such a small discourtesy, which could plausibly be explained away somehow
later on, Gregor could hardly be fired on the spot. And it seemed to
Gregor that it would be much more sensible to leave him in peace for the
present than to trouble him with tears and entreaties. Still, of course,
their uncertainty bewildered them all and excused their behavior.
“Mr. Samsa,” the chief clerk called now in a louder voice,
“what's the matter with you? Here you are, barricading yourself in your
room, giving only 'yes' and 'no' for answers, causing your parents a lot
of unnecessary trouble and neglecting—I mention this only in
passing—neglecting your business duties in an incredible fashion. I am
speaking here in the name of your parents and of your employer, and I beg
you quite seriously to give me an immediate and precise explanation. You
amaze me, you amaze me. I thought you were a quiet, dependable person, and
now all at once you seem bent on making a disgraceful exhibition of
yourself. The boss did hint to me early this morning a possi-ble
explanation for your disappearance—with reference to the cash payments
that were entrusted to you recently—but I almost pledged my solemn word
of honor that this could not be so. But now that I see how incredibly
obstinate you are. I no longer have the slightest desire to take your part
at all. And your position in the firm is not exactly unassailable. I came
with the intention of telling you all this in private, but since you are
wasting my time so needlessly I don't see why your parents shouldn't hear
it too. For some time now your work has been most unsatisfactory; this is
not the best time of the year for business, of course, we admit that, but
a time of the year for doing no business at all, that does not exist, Mr.
Samsa, must not exist."
"But, sir," cried Gregor, beside himself and in his
agita-tion forgetting everything else, "I'm just about to open the
door this very minute. A slight illness, an attack of dizziness, has kept
me from getting up. I'm still lying in bed. But I feel all right again.
I'm getting out of bed right now. Just give me a moment or Two longer!
It's not going as well as I thought. But I'm all right, really. How such a
thing can suddenly strike one down! Only last night I was quite well, my
parents can tell you, or rather I did have a slight presentiment. I must
have showed some sign of it. Why didn't I mention it at the office! But we
always think we can get over any illness without having to stay at home.
Oh sir, do spare my parents! All that you're reproaching me with now has
no foundation; no one has ever said a word to me about it. Perhaps you
haven't looked at the last orders I sent in. Anyway, I can still catch the
eight o'clock train, I'm much the better for my few extra hours' rest.
Don't let me detain you here, sir; I'll be attending to business very
soon, and do be good enough to tell the boss so and to give him my best
regards!” And while all this was tumbling out in a
rush and Gregor hardly knew what he was saying, he had reached the
chest of drawers quite easily, perhaps because of the practice he had had
in bed, and was now trying to get himself upright by means of it. He
actually meant to open the door, actually meant to show himself and speak
to the chief clerk; he was eager to find out what the others, after all
their insistence, would say at the sight of him. If they were horrified
then the responsibility was no longer his and he could relax. But if they
took it in stride, then he had no reason either to be upset, and could
actually get to the station for the eight o'clock train if he hurried. At
first he slipped down a few times from the polished surface of the chest,
but finally with one last heave he stood upright; he paid no more
attention to the pains in the lower part of his body, no matter how much
they smarted. Then he let himself fall against the back of a nearby chair,
and clung to its frame with his little legs. With that he regained control
over himself and he stopped speaking, for now he could hear that the chief
clerk was saying something.
“Did you understand one single word of that?" the chief
clerk was asking; "surely he can't be trying to make fools of
us?" "Oh, dear God," cried his mother, in tears, “perhaps
he's terribly ill and we're tormenting him. Grete! Grete!" she called
out then. "Yes, Mother?" called his sister from the other side.
They were calling to each other through Gregor's room. “You must go this
minute for the doctor. Gregor is ill. Go for the doctor, quick. Did you
hear how he was speaking?" "That was the voice of an
animal," said the chief clerk in a voice conspicuously soft compared
to the shrillness of the mother's. “Anna! Anna!" his father was
calling through the hall to the kitchen, clapping his hands, "get a
locksmith at once!" And the Two girls were already running through
the hall with a swish of skirts—how could his sister have gotten dressed
so quickly?—and were tearing the front door open. There was no sound of
its closing again; they had evidently left it open, as one does in homes
where some great misfortune has happened.
But Gregor was now much calmer. The words he uttered could no
longer be understood apparently, although they seemed clear enough to him,
even clearer than before, perhaps because his ear had grown accustomed to
the sound of them. Yet at any rate people now believed that something was
wrong with him, and were ready to help. The positive certainty with which
these first measures had been taken comforted him. He felt himself drawn
once more into the human circle and hoped for great and remarkable results
from both the doctor and the locksmith, without really distinguishing
precisely between them. To make his voice as clear as possible for the
crucial consultations that were soon to take place he cleared his throat a
little, as quietly as he could, of course, since this noise too might not
sound human for all he was able to judge. In the next room meanwhile there
was complete silence. Perhaps his parents were sitting at the table with
the chief clerk, whispering, perhaps they were all leaning against the
door and listening.
Slowly Gregor pushed the chair toward the door, then let go of it,
caught hold of the door for support—the pads at the ends of his little
legs were somewhat sticky—and rested against it for a moment after his
efforts. Then he set himself to turning the Key in the lock with his
mouth. It seemed, unfortunately, that he didn't really have any
teeth—what was he supposed to grip the Key with?—but on the other hand
his jaws were certainly very strong; with their help he did manage to get
the Key turning, heedless of the fact that he was undoubtedly damaging
himself, since a brown fluid issued from his mouth, flowed over the Key,
and dripped onto the floor. "Just listen to that," said the
chief clerk in the next room, "he's turning the Key." That was a
great encouragement to Gregor; but they should all have shouted
encouragement to him, his father and mother too: "Come on, Gregor,"
they should have called out, "keep going, get a good grip on that
Key!" And in the belief that they were all following his efforts
intently, he bit down frantically on the Key with all the force at his
command. As the turning of the Key progressed he circled around the lock,
holding on now only with his mouth, pushing on the Key, as required, or
pulling it down again with all the weight of his body. The louder click of
the finally yielding lock literally quickened Gregor. With a deep breath
of relief he said to himself: "So I didn't need the locksmith,” and
laid his head on the handle to open the door wide.
Since he had to pull the door toward him, he was still invisible
even when it was really wide open. He had to edge himself slowly around
the near half of the double door, and to do it very carefully if he was
not to fall flat on his back before he even got inside. He was still
carrying out this difficult maneuver, with no time to observe anything
else, when he heard the chief clerk utter a loud "Oh!"—it
sounded like a gust of wind—and now he could see the man, standing as he
was nearest to the door, clapping one hand over his open mouth and slowly
backing away as if he were being repelled by some unseen but inexorable
force. His mother—in spite of the chief clerk's presence her hair was
still undone and sticking out in all directions—first clasped her hands
and looked at his father, then took Two-steps toward Gregor and fell on
the floor among her outspread skirts, her face completely hidden on her
breast. His father clenched one fist with a fierce expression on his face
as if he meant to knock Gregor back into his room, then looked uncertainly
around the living room, covered his eyes with his hands, and wept until
his great chest heaved.
Gregor did not go now into the living room, but leaned against the
inside of the firmly shut wing of the door, so that only half his body was
visible and his head above it tilted sideways to look at the others. It
had meanwhile become much brighter outside; on the other side of the
street one could see clearly a section of the endlessly long, dark gray
building opposite—it was a hospital—its facade relentlessly punctuated
by evenly spaced windows; the rain was still falling, but only in large,
singly discernible drops, each one of which, it seemed, was literally
being hurled to the ground below. The breakfast dishes were set out on the
table in great number, for breakfast was the most important meal of the
day for Gregor's father, who stretched it out for hours over various
newspapers. Right opposite Gregor on the wall hung a photograph of himself
in military service, as a lieutenant, hand on sword, a carefree smile on
his face, inviting respect for his uniform and military bearing. The door
lead-ing to the hall was open, and one could see that the front door stood
open too, showing the landing beyond and the beginning of the stairs going
down.
"Well," said Gregor, knowing perfectly that he was the
only one who had retained any composure, "I'll get dressed right
away, pack up my samples, and start off. Will you, will you be willing to
let me go? You see, sir, I'm not stubborn, and I like my work; traveling
is a hard life, but I couldn't live without it. Where are you going now,
sir? To the office? Yes? Will you give an honest account of all this? One
can be temporarily incapacitated, but that's just the moment for
remembering former services and for bearing in mind that later on, when
the problem has been resolved, one will certainly work all the harder and
with all the more concentration. I'm so indebted to the head of the firm,
you know that very well. On the other hand, I have my parents and my
sister to worry about. I'm in great difficulties, but I'll get out of them
again. Don't make things any worse for me than they already are. Stand up
for me in the firm. Salesmen are not popular there, I know. People think
they earn piles of money and just have a good time. A prejudice there's no
particular reason to correct. But you, sir, have a better view of the
situation than the rest of the staff, yes, let me tell you in confidence,
a better view than the boss himself, who, being the owner, lets his
judgment be easily swayed against one of his employees. And you know very
well that a traveling salesman, who is almost never seen in the office all
year long, can so easily fall victim to gossip and bad luck and unfair
accusations he can't defend himself against because he generally knows
nothing about them and only finds out when he comes back exhausted from
one of his trips and then has to suffer the terrible consequences in some
mysterious personal way. Sir, sir, don't go away without a word to me to
show that you think me in the right at least to some extent!"
But at Gregor's very first words the chief clerk had already backed
away and only stared at him with parted lips over one twitching shoulder.
And while Gregor was speak-ing he did not stand still one moment but
inched toward the door, yet without taking his eyes off Gregor, as if
obeying some mysterious order not to leave the room. He was already in the
hall, and to judge from the suddenness with which he took his last step
out of the living room one could easily have thought he had burned the
sole of his foot. Once in the hall he stretched his right arm before him
toward the staircase as if some supernatural power were waiting there to
deliver him.
Gregor realized that the chief clerk must on no account be allowed
to go away in this frame of mind if his position in the firm were not to
be endangered to the utmost. His parents did not understand this so well;
they had convinced themselves in the course of years that Gregor was
settled for life in this firm, and, besides, they were so preoccupied with
their immediate troubles that all foresight had forsaken them. But Gregor
had this foresight. The chief clerk must be detained, soothed, persuaded,
and finally won over; the whole future of Gregor and his family depended
on it! If only his sister were here! She was intelligent; she had begun to
cry even while Gregor was still lying quietly on his back. And no doubt
the chief clerk, so partial to ladies, would have been guided by her; she
would have shut the door to the apartment and in the hall talked him out
of his horror. But she was not there, and Gregor would have to handle the
situation himself. And without remembering that he was still unaware what
powers of movement he possessed, without even remembering that his words
in all possibility, indeed in all likelihood, would again be
unintelligible, he let go the wing of the door, pushed himself through the
opening, and started to walk toward the chief clerk, who was already
clinging ridiculously with both hands to the railing on the landing; but
immediately, as he was feeling for a support, he fell down with a little
cry upon all his numerous legs. Hardly was he down when he experienced for
the first time this morning a sense of physical well-being; his legs had
firm ground under them; they were completely obedient, as he noted with
joy; they even strove to carry him along in whatever direction he chose;
and he was inclined to believe that a final relief from all his sufferings
was at hand. But at the same moment as he found himself on the floor, not
far from his mother, indeed just in front of her, rocking with pent-up
eagerness to move, she, who had seemed so com-pletely crushed, sprang all
at once to her feet, her arms and fingers spread wide, cried: “Help, for
God's sake, help!” bent her head down as if to see Gregor better, yet on
the contrary kept backing senselessly away; had quite forgotten that the
breakfast table stood behind her; sat down upon it abruptly and with a
confused look on her face when she bumped into it; and seemed altogether
unaware that the big coffeepot beside her had been tipped over and that
coffee was gushing all over the carpet.
"Mother, Mother," said Gregor in a low voice, and looked up at
her. The chief clerk had for the moment quite slipped from his mind;
instead, he could not resist snapping his jaws together a couple of times
at the sight of the streaming coffee. That made his mother scream again;
she fled from the table and fell into the arms of his father, who rushed
to catch her. But Gregor had no time now to spare for his parents; the
chief clerk was already on the stairs; with his chin on the banister he
was taking one last backward look. Gregor made a dash forward, to be as
sure as possible of overtaking him; the chief clerk must have suspected
what he was up to, for he leaped down several steps at once and vanished.
“Aieee!" he yelled; it was the last sound heard from him, and it
echoed through the whole stairwell.
Unfortunately, the flight of the chief clerk seemed completely to
unhinge Gregor's father, who had remained relatively calm until now, for
instead of running after the man himself, or at least not hindering Gregor
in his pursuit, he seized in his right hand the walking stick that the
chief clerk had left behind on a chair, together with his hat and
overcoat, snatched in his left hand a large newspaper from the table, and
began stamping his feet and flourishing the cane and the newspaper to
drive Gregor back into his room. No entreaty of Gregor's was of any use,
indeed no entreaty was even understood; no matter how humbly he inclined
his head his father only stamped on the floor the more forcefully. Over
there his mother had thrown open a window, despite the cold weather, and
was leaning far out of it with her face in her hands. A powerful draft set
in from the street to the staircase, the window curtains blew in, the
newspapers on the table fluttered, stray pages sailed across the floor.
Pitilessly Gregor's father drove him back, making hissing sounds like a
savage. But Gregor had had no practice yet in walking backward, it really
was a slow business. If only he had a chance to turn around he could get
back to his room at once, but he was afraid of exasperating his father
with such a time-consuming maneuver and at any moment the stick in his
father's hand might strike him a fatal blow on the back or the head. In
the end, however nothing else was left for him to do since to his horror
he realized that in moving backward he could not even control the
direction he took; and so, keeping an anxious eye on his father all the
time over his shoulder, he began to turn around as quickly as he could,
which was in reality very slowly. Perhaps his father noticed his good
intentions, for he did not interfere; instead, every now and then he even
directed the maneuver like a conductor from a distance with the point of
the stick. If only he would stop making that unbearable hissing noise! It
drove Gregor out of his mind. By the time he managed to turn almost
completely around, the hissing noise so distracted him that he even turned
a little too far. But when he finally succeeded in getting his head right
up in front of the doorway, it was clear that his body was too broad to
fit easily through the opening. His father, of course, in his present mood
was far from thinking of such a thing as opening the other half of the
door, to let Gregor have enough space. The only thought in his head was
that Gregor should get back into his room as quickly as possible. He would
never have allowed Gregor to make the complicated preparations needed for
standing upright again and perhaps slipping through the door that way. On
the contrary, the father was now making more noise than ever in an effort
to drive Gregor forward, as if there were no obstacle in the way at all;
to Gregor, though, the noise at his rear no longer sounded like the voice
of one single father; this was really no joke, and Gregor thrust
himself—come what might— into the doorway. One side of his body rose
up, he was tilted at an angle in the doorway, his flank was scraped raw;
horrid blotches stained the white door, soon he was stuck fast and, left
to himself, could not have moved at all; his little legs on one side
fluttered trembling in the air, those on the other were crushed painfully
to the floor—when from behind his father gave him a strong push which
was literally a deliver-ance and he flew far into the room, bleeding
violently. The door was slammed behind him with the stick, and then at
last there was silence.
II
Not until it was twilight did Gregor awake out of a deep sleep, more
like a swoon than a sleep. He would certainly have awoken of his own
accord not much later, for he felt himself sufficiently well rested, but
it seemed to him as if a fleeting step and a cautious shutting of the door
leading into the hall had aroused him. The electric lights in the street
cast a pale sheen here and there on the ceiling and the upper surfaces of
the furniture, but down below, where he lay, it was dark. Slowly,
awkwardly trying out his feelers, which he now first learned to
appreciate, he pushed his way to the door to see what had been happening
there. His left side felt like one single long, unpleasantly tense scar,
and he had actually to limp on his Two rows of legs. One little leg,
moreover, had been severely damaged in the course of that morning's
events—it was almost a miracle that only one had been damaged—and
trailed uselessly behind him.
He had reached the door before he discovered what had really drawn
him to it: the smell of food. For there stood a bowl filled with fresh
milk in which floated little slices of white bread. He could almost have
laughed with joy, since he was now far hungrier than in the morning, and
he dipped his head almost up to his eyes in the milk. But soon in
disappointment he withdrew it again; not only did he find it difficult to
eat because of his tender left side—and he could only eat with the
cooperation of his whole snorting body—he did not like the milk either,
although milk had been his favorite drink and that was certainly why his
sister had set it there for him; indeed it was almost with repulsion that
he turned away from the bowl and crawled back to the middle of the room.
He could see through the crack of the door that the gas was turned
on in the living room, but while usually at this time his father made a
habit of reading the afternoon news-paper in a loud voice to his mother
and occasionally to his sister as well, not a sound was now to be heard.
Well, perhaps his father had recently given up this habit of reading
aloud, which his sister had mentioned so often in conversation and in her
letters. But there was the same silence all around, although the apartment
was certainly not empty of occupants. "What a quiet life our family
leads," said Gregor to himself, and as he sat there motionless
staring into the darkness he felt great pride in the fact that he had been
able to provide such a life for his parents and sister in such a fine
apartment. But what if all the quiet, the comfort, the contentment were
now to end in horror? To keep himself from being lost in such thoughts
Gregor took refuge in movement and crawled back and forth in the room.
Once during the long evening one of the side doors was opened a
little and quickly shut again, later the other side door too; someone had
apparently wanted to come in and then thought better of it. Gregor now
stationed himself immediately before the living room door, determined to
persuade any hesitating visitor to come in or at least to discover who it
might be; but the door was not opened again and he waited in vain. In the
early morning, when the doors were locked, they had all wanted to come in,
now that he had opened one door and the others had apparently been opened
during the day, no one came in and even the keys were on the other side of
the doors.
It was late at night before the gaslights were extinguished in the
living room, and Gregor could easily tell that his parents and his sister
had all stayed awake until then, for he could clearly hear the three of
them stealing away on tiptoe. No one was likely to visit him, not until
the morning, that was certain; so he had plenty of time to meditate at his
leisure on how he was to rearrange his life. But the lofty, empty room in
which he had to lie flat on the floor filled him with an apprehension he
could not account for, since it had been his very own room for the past
five years—and half-unconsciously, not without a slight feeling of
shame, he turned from the door and scuttled under the sofa, where he felt
comfortable at once, although his back was a little cramped and he could
not lift his head up, and his only regret was that his body was too broad
to get all of it under the sofa.
He stayed there all night, spending the time partly in a light
slumber, from which his hunger kept waking him up with a start, and partly
in worrying and sketching vague hopes, which all led to the same
conclusion, that he must lie low for the present and, by exercising
patience and the utmost consideration, help the family to bear the
inconvenience he was bound to cause them in his present condition.
Very early in the morning—it was still almost night—Gregor had
the chance to test the strength of his new resolutions, for his sister,
nearly fully dressed, opened the door from the hall and peered in
apprehensively. She did not see him at once, yet when she caught sight of
him under the sofa—well, he had to be somewhere, he couldn't have flown
away, could he?—she was so startled that without being able to help it
she slammed the door shut again. But as if regretting her behavior she
opened the door again immediately and came in on tiptoe, as if she were
visiting an invalid or even a stranger. Gregor had pushed his head forward
to the very edge of the sofa and watched her. Would she notice that he had
left the milk standing, and not for lack of hunger, and would she bring in
some other kind of food more to his taste? If she did not do it of her own
accord, he would rather starve than draw her attention to the fact,
although he felt a wild impulse to dart out from under the sofa, throw
himself at her feet, and beg her for something to eat. But his sister at
once noticed, with surprise, that the bowl was still full, except for a
little milk that had been spilled all around it, she lifted it
immediately, not with her bare hands, true, but with a cloth and carried
it away. Gregor was extremely curious to know what she would bring
instead, and imagined all sorts of possibilities. Yet what she actually
did next, in the goodness of her heart, he could never have guessed. To
find out what he liked she brought him a whole selection of food, all set
out on an old newspaper. There were old, half decayed vegetables, bones
from last night's supper covered with a white sauce that had congealed,
some raisins and almonds; a piece of cheese that Gregor would have
pronounced inedible Two days ago; a plain piece of bread, a buttered
piece, and a piece both buttered and salted. Besides all that, she set
down again the same bowl, into which she had poured some water, and which
was apparently to be reserved for his exclusive use. And with great tact,
knowing that Gregor would not eat in her presence, she withdrew quickly
and even turned the Key, to let him understand that he could make himself
as comfortable as he liked. Gregor's little legs all whirred in his rush
to get to the food. His wounds must have healed completely, moreover, for
he no longer felt incapacitated, which amazed him and made him reflect how
more than a month ago he had cut one finger a little with a knife and was
still suffering from the wound only the day before yesterday. Might it be
that I am less sensitive now? he thought, and sucked greedily at the
cheese, which more than any of the other delicacies attracted him at once,
and strongly. One after another, and with tears of satisfaction in his
eyes, he quickly devoured the cheese, the vegetables, and the sauce; the
fresh food, on the other hand, had no charm for him, he could not even
stand the smell of it and actually dragged away to some little distance
the things he wanted to eat. He had long since finished his meal and was
only lying lazily on the same spot when his sister turned the Key slowly
as a sign for him to retreat. That roused him at once, although he was
nearly asleep, and he hurried under the sofa again. But it took
considerable self-control for him to stay under the sofa, even for the
short time his sister was in the room, since the large meal had swollen
his body somewhat and he was so cramped he could hardly breathe. Slight
attacks of breathlessness afflicted him and his eyes were bulging a little
from their sockets as he watched his unsuspecting sister sweeping together
with a broom not only the remains of what he had eaten but even the things
he had not touched, as if these were now of no use to anyone, and hastily
shoveling it all into a bucket, which she covered with a wooden lid and
carried away. Hardly had she turned her back when Gregor came from under
the sofa and stretched and puffed himself out.
In this manner Gregor was fed, once in the early morn-ing while his
parents and the maid were still asleep, and a second time after they had
all had their midday meal, for then his parents took a short nap and the
girl could be sent out on some errand or other by his sister. Not that
they would have wanted him to starve, of course, but perhaps they could
not have endured learning more about his feeding than from hearsay;
perhaps too his sister wanted to spare them such little anxieties wherever
possible, since they had quite enough to bear as it was.
Under what pretext the doctor and the locksmith had been gotten rid
of on that first morning Gregor could not discover, for since what he said
was not understood by the others it never occurred to any of them, not
even his sister, that he could understand what they said, and so whenever
his sister came into his room he had to content himself with hearing her
utter only a sigh now and then and an occasional appeal to the saints.
Later on, when she had gotten a little used to the situation—of course
she could never get completely used to it—Gregor would occasionally
catch a re-mark which was kindly meant or could be so interpreted.
"Well, he liked his dinner today," she would say when Gregor had
gobbled down all of his food; and when he had not eaten, which gradually
happened more and more often, she would say almost sadly:
"Everything’s been left untouched again.”
But although Gregor could get no news directly, he overheard a lot
from the neighboring rooms, and as soon as voices were audible, he would
run to the door of whichever room it was and press his whole body against
it. In the first few days especially there was no conversation that did
not concern him somehow, even if only indirectly. For Two whole days there
were family consultations at every mealtime about what should be done; but
also between meals the same subject was discussed, for there were always
at least Two members of the family at home, since no one wanted to be
alone in the apartment and to leave it altogether empty was unthinkable.
And on the very first of these days the cook—it was not quite clear what
and how much she knew of the situation—fell on her knees before his
mother and begged permission to leave, and when she departed a quarter of
an hour later gave thanks for her release with tears in her eyes as if
this were the greatest blessing that could ever be conferred on her, and
without any prompting swore a solemn oath that she would never say a
single word to anyone about what had happened.
Now Gregor's sister had to do the cooking too with her mother's
help; true, this did not amount to much, for they ate scarcely anything.
Gregor was always hearing one of the family vainly urging another to eat
and getting no answer but "Thanks, I've had all I want," or
something similar. Nor did they seem to be drinking anything either. Time
and again his sister kept asking his father if he wouldn't like some beer
and kindly offered to go and fetch it herself, and when he didn't answer
suggested that she could ask the concierge to fetch it, so that he need
feel no sense of obligation, but then a loud “No" came from his
father and no more was said about it.
In the course of that very first day Gregor's father explained the
family's financial position and prospects to both his mother and his
sister. Now and then he rose from the table to get some document or
notebook out of the small safe he had rescued from the collapse of his
business five years earlier. One could hear him opening the complicated
lock and taking papers out and shutting it again. These explanations were
the first cheerful information Gregor had heard since his imprisonment. He
had been of the opinion that nothing at all was left over from his
father's business, at least his father had never said anything to the
contrary, and of course he had not asked him directly. At that time
Gregor's sole desire was to do his utmost to help the family to forget as
soon as possible the catastrophe that had overwhelmed the business and
thrown them all into a state of complete despair. And so he had set to
work with unusual ardor and almost overnight had become a traveling
salesman instead of a little clerk, with of course much greater chances of
earning money, and his success was immediately transformed into hard cash
which he could lay on the table before his amazed and happy family. These
had been fine times, and they had never recurred, at least not with the
same sense of glory, although later on Gregor had earned so much money
that he was able to meet the expenses of the whole household and did so.
They had simply gotten used to it, both the family and Gregor; the money
was gratefully accepted and gladly given, but there was no special
outpouring of warm feeling. With his sister alone had he remained
intimate, and it was a secret plan of his that she, who, unlike himself,
loved music and could play the violin movingly, should be sent next year
to study at the Conservatory, despite the great expense that would entail
and which would have to be made up in some other way. During his brief
visits home the Conservatory was often mentioned in the talks he had with
his sister, but always merely as a beautiful dream which could never come
true, and his parents discouraged even these innocent references to it;
yet Gregor had made up his mind firmly about it and meant to announce the
fact with due solemnity on Christmas Day.
Such were the thoughts, completely futile in his present condition,
that went through his head as he stood glued upright to the door and
listening. Sometimes out of sheer weariness he could no longer pay
attention and accidentally let his head fall against the door, but he
always pulled himself together again at once, for even the slight sound
his head made was audible next door and brought all conversation to a
stop. “What can he be doing now?" his father would say after a
while, obviously turning toward the door, and only then would the
interrupted conversation gradually start up again.
Gregor was now informed as amply as he could
wish—for his father tended to repeat himself in his explanations, partly
because it was a long time since he had dealt with such matters and partly
because his mother could not always grasp things at once—that a certain
amount of money, not all that much really, had survived the wreck of their
fortunes and had even increased a little because the dividends had not
been touched meanwhile. And besides that, the money Gregor brought home
every month—he had kept only a few thalers for himself—had never been
quite used up and now amounted to a substantial sum. Behind the door
Gregor nodded his head eagerly, delighted by this evidence of unexpected
thrift and foresight. True, he could really have paid off some more of his
father's debts to the head of his firm with this extra money, and thus
brought much nearer the day on which he could quit his job, but doubtless
it was better the way his father had arranged it.
Yet this capital was by no means sufficient to let the family live
on the interest from it; for one year, perhaps, or at the most Two, they
could live on the principal, that was all. It was simply a sum that ought
not to be touched and should be kept for a rainy day; money for living
expenses would have to be earned. Now his father was still healthy enough
but an old man, and he had done no work for the past five years and could
not be expected to exert himself; during these five years, the first years
of leisure in his laborious though unsuccessful life, he had put on a lot
of weight and become sluggish. And Gregor's old mother, how was she to
earn a living with her asthma, which troubled her even when she walked
through the apartment and kept her lying on a sofa every other day panting
for breath beside an open window? And was his sister to earn her bread,
she who was still a child of seventeen and whose life hitherto had been so
pleasant, consisting as it did in dressing herself nicely, sleeping long,
helping with the housework, going out to a few modest entertainments, and
above all playing the violin? At first whenever the need for earning money
was mentioned Gregor let go of the door and threw himself down on the cool
leather sofa beside it, he felt so hot with shame and grief.
Often he just lay there the long nights through without sleeping at
all, scrabbling for hours on the leather. Or he worked himself up to the
great effort of pushing an armchair to the window, then crawled up over
the windowsill and, braced against the chair, leaned against the
windowpanes obviously in some recollection of the sense of freedom that
looking out of a window always used to give him. For, in reality,
day-by-day things that were only a little distance away were growing
dimmer to his sight; the hospital across the street, which he used to
curse for being all too often before his eyes, was now quite beyond his
range of vision, and if he had not known that he lived on Charlotte
Street, a quiet street but still a city street, he might have believed
that his window looked out on a desert waste where gray sky and gray land
blended indistinguishably into each other. His quick-witted sister only
needed to observe twice that the armchair stood by the window; after that
whenever she had tidied the room she always pushed the chair back to the
same place at the window and even left the inner casements open.
If he could have spoken to her and thanked her for all she had to
do for him, he could have endured her ministrations better; as it was,
they pained him. She certainly tried to make as light as possible of
whatever was disagreeable in her task, and as time went on she succeeded,
of course, more and more, but time also allowed Gregor to see through
things better too. The very way she came in distressed him. Hardly was she
in the room when she rushed straight to the window, without even taking
time to shut the door, careful as she was usually to shield the sight of
Gregor's room from the others, and as if she were about to suffocate tore
the windows open with impatient hands, standing then in the open draft for
a while even in the bitterest cold and drawing deep breaths. This rushing
around and banging of hers upset Gregor twice a day; he would crouch
trembling under the sofa all the while, knowing quite well that she would
certainly have spared him such a disturbance had she found it at all
possible to stay in his presence without opening the window.
On one occasion, about a month after Gregor's meta-morphosis, when there
was surely no reason for her to be still startled at his appearance, she
came a little earlier than usual and found him gazing out of the window,
quite motionless, and thus the perfect figure of terror. Gregor would not
have been surprised had she not come in at all, for she could not
immediately open the window while he was there, but not only did she
retreat, she jumped back as if in alarm and slammed the door shut; a
stranger might well have thought that he had been lying in wait for her
there, planning to bite her. Of course he hid himself under the sofa at
once, but he had to wait until midday before she came again, and she
seemed more ill at ease than usual. This made him realize how repulsive
the sight of him still was to her, and that it was bound to go on being
repulsive, and what an effort it must cost her not to run away even from
the sight of the small portion of his body that stuck out from under the
sofa. In order to spare her that, therefore, one day he carried a sheet on
his back to the sofa—it cost him four hours' labor—and arranged it
there in such a way as to hide himself completely, so that even if she
were to bend down she could not see him. Had she considered the sheet
un-necessary, she would certainly have stripped it off the sofa again, for
it was clear enough that this total confinement of himself had not been
undertaken just for his own pleasure, but she left it where it was, and
Gregor even imagined that he caught a grateful look in her eye when he
lifted the sheet carefully a very little with his head to see how she was
taking the new arrangement.
For the first Two weeks his parents could not bring themselves to
enter his room, and he often heard them expressing their appreciation of
his sister's activities, whereas formerly they had frequently been annoyed
with her for being as they thought a somewhat useless girl. But now both
of them often waited outside the door, his father and his mother, while
his sister tidied his room, and as soon as she came out she had to tell
them exactly how things were in the room, what Gregor had eaten, how he
had conducted him-self this time, and whether there was not perhaps some
slight improvement in his condition. His mother, moreover, began
relatively soon to want to visit him, but his father and sister dissuaded
her at first with arguments which Gregor listened to very attentively and
altogether approved. Later, however, she had to be held back by force, and
when she cried out, "Let me in to see Gregor, he is my unfortunate
son! Can't you understand that I must go to him?" Gregor thought that
it might be well to have her come in, not every day, of course, but
perhaps once a week; she understood things, after all, much better than
his sister, who was only a child despite her courage and when all was said
and done had perhaps taken on so difficult a task merely out of childish
frivolity.
Gregor's desire to see his mother was soon fulfilled. During the
daytime he did not want to show himself at the window, out of
consideration for his parents, but he could not crawl very far around the
few square yards of floor space he had, nor could he bear lying quietly at
rest all during the night; in addition he was fast losing any interest he
had ever taken in food, so for mere recreation he had formed the habit of
crawling crisscross over the walls and ceiling. He especially enjoyed
hanging suspended from the ceiling; it was altogether different from lying
on the floor; one could breathe more freely; one's body swung and rocked
lightly; and in the almost blissful absorption induced by this suspension
it could happen, to his own surprise, that he let go and fell plop onto
the floor. Yet he now had his body much better under control than formerly
and even such a big fall did him no harm. His sister noticed at once the
new distraction Gregor had found for himself—he left behind traces of
the sticky stuff from his pads wherever he crawled—and she got the idea
in her head of giving him as wide a field as possible to crawl around in
and of removing the pieces of furniture that hindered him, above all the
chest of drawers and the writing desk. But that was more than she could
manage all by herself; she did not dare ask her father to help her; and as
for the maid, a girl of sixteen who had had the courage to stay on after
the cook's departure, she could not be asked to help, for she had begged
as a special favor that she might keep the kitchen door locked and open it
only on a definite summons; so there was nothing left but to turn to her
mother one day when her father was out. And the mother did come, with
exclamations of excitement and joy, which, however, died away at the door
of Gregor's room. Gregor's sister, of course, went in first to see that
everything was in order before letting his mother enter. In great haste
Gregor had pulled the sheet lower than usual and arranged it more in folds
so that it really looked as if it had been thrown casually over the sofa.
And this time he did not peer out from under it; he denied himself the
pleasure of seeing his mother on this first occasion and was only glad
that she had come at all. "Come in, he's out of sight," said his
sister, obviously leading her mother in by the hand. Gregor could now hear
the Two frail women struggling to shift the heavy old chest from its
place, and his sister insisting on doing the greater part of the work
herself without listening to the admonitions of her mother, who feared she
might overstrain herself. It took a long time. After at least a quarter of
an hour's tugging his mother said that the chest had better be left right
where they had found it, for in the first place it was too heavy and could
never be removed before his father came home, and with the chest halfway
in the middle of the room like this it would only hamper Gregor’s
movements, while in the second place it was not at all certain that
remove-ing the furniture would be doing Gregor a favor. She was inclined to
think the contrary; the sight of the naked wall made her own heart heavy,
and why shouldn't Gregor have the same feeling, considering that he had
been used to his furniture for so long and might feel forlorn without it.
"And doesn't it look," his mother concluded in a low voice—in
fact she had been almost whispering all the time as if to avoid letting
Gregor, whose exact whereabouts she did not know, hear even the sounds of
her voice, for she was convinced that he could not understand her
words—"doesn't it look as if we were showing him, by taking away
his furniture, that we have given up hope of his ever getting better and
are just thoughtlessly leaving him to himself? I think it would be best to
keep his room exactly as it has always been, so that when he comes back to
us he will find everything unchanged and be able to forget all the more
easily what has happened in the meantime."
On hearing these words from his mother Gregor realized that the
lack of all direct human communication for the past Two months together
with the monotony of family life must have confused his mind, otherwise he
could not account for the fact that he had seriously looked forward to
having his room emptied of its furnishings. Did he really want his cozy
room, so comfortably fitted with old family furniture, to be turned into a
cave in which he would certainly be able to crawl unhampered in all
directions but at the price of shedding instantly and totally all
recollection of his human past? He had indeed been close to the brink of
forgetfulness and only the voice of his mother, which he had not heard for
so long, had drawn him back from it. Nothing should be taken out of his
room; everything must stay as it was; he could not dispense with the
beneficial effects of the furniture on his state of mind; and even if the
furniture did hamper him in his senseless crawling around and around, that
was no drawback but a great advantage.
Unfortunately his sister was of the contrary opinion; she had grown
accustomed, and not without reason, to consider herself an expert in
Gregor's affairs as against her parents, and so her mother's advice was
now enough to make her determined on the removal not only of the chest and
the desk, which had been her first intention, but of all the furniture
except the indispensable sofa. This determination was not, of course,
merely the outcome of childish recalcitrance and of the self-confidence
she had recently developed so unexpectedly and at such cost; she had in
fact perceived that Gregor needed a lot of space to crawl around in, while
on the other hand he never used the furniture at all, so far as could be
seen. Another factor might also have been the enthusiastic temperament of
girls her age, which seeks to indulge itself at every opportunity and
which now tempted Grete to exaggerate the horror of her brother's
circumstances in order that she might do all the more for him. In a room
where Gregor lorded it all alone over empty walls no one except herself
was likely ever to set foot.
And so she was not to be moved from her resolve by her mother, who
seemed, moreover, to be ill at ease in Gregor's room and therefore unsure
of herself, was soon reduced to silence and helped her daughter as best
she could to push the chest outside. Now, Gregor could do without the
chest if need be, but the desk had to stay. As soon as the Two women had
gotten the chest out of his room, groaning as they pushed it, Gregor stuck
his head out from under the sofa to see how he might intervene as
considerately and cautiously as possible. But as bad luck would have it,
his mother was the first to return, leaving Grete grappling with the chest
in the room next door where she was trying to shift it all by herself,
without of course moving it from the spot. His mother however was not
accustomed to the sight of him, it might sicken her, and so in alarm
Gregor backed quickly to the other end of the sofa, yet could not prevent
the sheet from swaying a little in front. That was enough to put her on
the alert. She paused, stood still for a moment, and then went back to
Grete.
Although Gregor kept reassuring himself that nothing out of the
ordinary was happening, that only a few bits of furniture were being
rearranged, he soon had to admit that all this trotting to and fro of the
Two women, their little shouts to each other, and the scraping of
furniture along the floor had the effect on him of some vast disturbance
coming from all sides at once, and however much he tucked in his head and
legs and pressed his body to the floor, he had to confess that he would
not be able to stand it much longer. They were clearing his room out,
taking away everything he loved; the chest in which he kept his jigsaw and
other tools was already dragged off; they were now loosening the desk
which had almost sunk into the floor, the desk at which he had done all
his homework when he was at the commercial academy, at the secondary
school before that, and, yes, even at the primary school—he had no more
time to waste in weighing the good intentions of the Two women, whose
existence he had by now almost forgotten, for they were so exhausted that
they were laboring in silence and nothing could be heard but the heavy
scuffling of their feet.
And so he broke out—the women were just leaning against the desk
in the next room to give themselves a breather—and four times changed
his direction, since he really did not know what to rescue first, then on
the wall opposite, which was already all but empty, he was struck by the
picture of the lady muffled in so much fur and quickly crawled up to it
and pressed himself to the glass, which was a good surface to adhere to
and soothed his hot belly. This picture at least, now entirely hidden
beneath him, was going to be removed by nobody. He turned his head toward
the door of the living room so as to observe the women when they came
back.
They had not allowed themselves much of a rest and were already
returning; Grete had twined her arm around her mother and was almost
supporting her. “Well, what shall we take now?” said Grete, looking
around. Her eyes met Gregor's from the wall. She kept her composure,
presumably because of her mother, bent her head down to her mother, to
keep her from looking up, and said, although in a trembling and
unconvincing tone of voice: "Come, hadn't we better go back to the
living room for a moment?" Her intentions were clear enough to
Gregor,
she wanted to get her mother to safety and then drive him down from the
wall. Well, just let her try it! He clung to his picture and would not
give it up. He would rather fly in Grete's face.
But Grete's words had succeeded in upsetting her mother, who took a
step to one side, caught sight of the huge brown mass on the flowered
wallpaper, and before she was really aware that what she saw was Gregor,
screamed in a loud, hoarse voice, "Oh God, oh God!" fell with
outspread arms over the sofa as if giving up, and did not move. "Gregor!"
cried his sister, shaking her fist and glaring at him. This was the first
time she had directly addressed him since his metamorphosis. She ran into
the next room for some smelling salts with which to rouse her mother from
her fainting fit. Gregor wanted to help too—there was time to rescue the
picture later—but he was stuck fast to the glass and had to tear himself
loose; he then ran after his sister into the next room as if he could
still advise her the way he used to; but all he could do was stand
helplessly behind her; she meanwhile searched among various small bottles
and when she turned around started in alarm at the sight of him; one
bottle fell on the floor and broke; a splinter of glass cut Gregor's face
and some kind of corrosive medicine splashed him; without pausing a moment
longer Grete gathered up all the bottles she could carry and ran to her
mother with them; she banged the door shut with her foot. Gregor was now
cut off from his mother, who was perhaps about to die because of him; he
dared not open the door for fear of frightening away his sister, who had
to stay with her mother; there was nothing he could do but wait; and
tormented by self-reproach and worry he began now to crawl to and fro,
over everything, walls, furniture, and ceiling, and finally in his
despair, when the whole room seemed to be reeling around him, fell down
onto the middle of the big table.
A little while elapsed, Gregor was still lying there feebly and all
around him was quiet; perhaps that was a good omen. Then the doorbell
rang. The maid was of course locked in her kitchen, and Grete had to go
and open the door. It was his father. “What's happened?" were his
first words; the look on Grete's face must have told him everything. Grete
answered in a muffled voice, apparently hiding her head on his chest:
"Mother fainted, but she's better now. Gregor's broken loose."
“Just what I expected,” said his father, “just what I've been
telling you would happen, but you women would never listen." It was
clear to Gregor that his father had taken the worst interpretation of
Grete's all too brief statement and was assuming that Gregor had been
guilty of some violent act. Therefore Gregor must now try to calm his
father down, since he had neither time nor means for an explanation. And
so he ran to the door of his own room and crouched against it, to let his
father see as soon as he came in from the hall that his son had the good
intention of getting back into his room immediately and that it was not
necessary to drive him there, but that if only the door were opened for
him he would disappear at once.
Yet his father was not in the mood to perceive such find distinctions.
“Aha!” he cried as soon as he appeared, in a tone that sounded at once
angry and exultant. Gregor drew his head back from the door and lifted it
to look at his father. Truly, this was not the father he had imagined to
himself; admittedly he had been too absorbed of late in his new recreation
of crawling over the ceiling to take the same interest as before in what
was happening elsewhere in the apartment, and he really should have been
prepared for some changes. And yet, and yet, could that be his father? The
man who used to lie wearily sunk in bed whenever Gregor set out on a
business trip; who on the evenings of his return welcomed him back lying
in an easy chair in his bathrobe; who could not really rise to his feet
but only lifted his arms in greeting, and who on the rare occasions when
he did go out with his family, on one or Two Sundays a year and on the
most important holidays, walked between Gregor and his mother, who were
slow walkers themselves, even more slowly than they did, muffled in his
old overcoat, shuffling laboriously forward with the help of his
crook-handled cane, which he set down most cautiously at every step and,
whenever he wanted to say anything, nearly always came to a full stop and
gathered his escort around him? Now he was standing there straight as a
stick, dressed in a smart blue uniform with gold buttons, such as bank
attendants wear; his strong double chin bulged over the stiff high collar
of his jacket; from under his bushy eyebrows his black eyes darted fresh
and penetrating glances; his formerly tangled white hair had been combed
flat on either side of a shining and carefully exact parting. He pitched
his cap, which bore a gold monogram, probably the badge of some bank, in a
wide arc across the whole room onto a sofa and with the tail-ends of his
jacket thrown back, his hands in his trouser pockets, advanced with a grim
visage toward Gregor. Likely enough he did not himself know what he meant
to do; at any rate, he lifted his feet unusually high off the floor, and
Gregor was dumbfounded at the enormous size of his shoe soles. But Gregor
could not risk standing up to him, aware, as he had been from the very
first day of his new life, that his father believed only the severest
measures suitable for dealing with him. And so he ran before his father,
stopping when he stopped and scuttling forward again when his father made
any kind of move. In this way they circled the room several times without
anything decisive happening, indeed the whole operation did not even look
like a pursuit because it was carried out so slowly. And so Gregor
confined himself to the floor, for he feared that his father might
interpret any recourse to the walls or the ceiling as especially wicked
behavior. All the same, he could not keep this race up much longer, for
while his father took a single step he had to carry out a whole series of
movements. He was already beginning to feel breathless, just as in his
former life his lungs had not been very dependable. As he was staggering
along, trying to concentrate his energy on running, hardly keeping his
eyes open, in his dazed state never even thinking of any other escape than
simply going forward, and having almost for-gotten that the walls were
free to him, which in this room, to be sure, were obstructed by finely
carved pieces of furniture full of sharp points and jagged
edges—suddenly some-thing lightly flung landed close beside him and
rolled in front of him. It was an apple; a second apple followed
immediately; Gregor came to a stop in alarm; there was no point in running
away now, for his father was determined to bombard him. He had filled his
pockets with fruit from the dish on the sideboard and was now throwing
apple after apple, without taking particularly good aim for the moment.
The small red apples rolled about the floor as if magnetized and bumped
into each other. An apple thrown without much force grazed Gregor's back
and glanced off harmlessly. But another, following immediately, landed
right on his back and got stuck in it; Gregor wanted to drag himself
forward, as if this startling, incredible pain would disappear if he moved
to a different spot; but he felt as if he were nailed to the floor, and
stretched himself out in the complete derangement of all his senses. With
his last conscious look he saw the door of his room being torn open and
his mother rushing out ahead of his screaming sister, in her under bodice,
for her daughter had loosened her clothing to let her breathe more freely
and recover from her swoon; he saw his mother rushing toward his father,
leaving her loosened petticoats, one after another, behind her on the
floor, stumbling over them straight to his father and embracing him, in
complete union with him—but by now Gregor’s sight was already
failing—with her hands clasped around his father's neck as she begged
for Gregor's life.
III
The serious injury done to Gregor, which disabled him for more than a
month—the apple remained stuck in his body as a visible reminder, since
no one dared to remove it—seemed to have made even his father recollect
that Gregor was a member of the family, despite his present unfortunate
and repulsive shape, and ought not to be treated as an enemy, that, on the
contrary family duty required them to swallow their disgust and to
practice patience, nothing but patience.
And although his injury had impaired, probably forever, his powers
of movement, and for the time being it took him long, long minutes to
creep across his room like an old invalid—there was no question now of
crawling up the wall—yet in his own opinion he was sufficiently
compensated for this worsening of his condition by the fact that toward
evening the living-room door, which he used to watch intently for an hour
or Two beforehand, was now always opened, so that lying in the darkness of
his room, invisible to the family, he was permitted to see them all at the
lamp-lit table and listen to their talk by general consent, as it were,
very different from his earlier eavesdropping.
True, their conversation lacked the lively character of former
times, which he had always called to mind with a certain wistfulness in
the small hotel bedrooms where he so often used to throw himself down,
tired out, on the damp bedding. They were now mostly very silent. Soon
after supper his father would fall asleep in his armchair; his mother and
sister would admonish each other to be silent; his mother, bending low
under the lamp, would sew delicate undergarments for a fashionable shop;
his sister, who had taken a job as a salesgirl, was learning shorthand and
French in the evenings in the hopes of getting a better position some day.
Sometimes his father woke up, and as if quite unaware that he had been
sleeping said to his mother: "What a lot of sewing you're doing
today!" and at once fell asleep again, while the Two women exchanged
a tired smile.
With a kind of mulishness his father persisted in keeping his
uniform on even in the house; his robe hung uselessly on its peg and he
slept fully dressed where he sat, as if he were ready for service at any
moment and even here only awaiting the call of his superior. As a result,
his uniform, which was not brand-new to start with, began to look dirty,
despite all the loving care of the mother and sister to keep it clean, and
Gregor often spent whole evenings gazing at the many greasy spots on the
garment, gleaming with gold buttons always in a high state of polish, in
which the old man sat sleeping in extreme discomfort and yet quite
peacefully.
As soon as the clock struck ten his mother tried to rouse his
father with gentle words and to persuade him after that to get into bed,
for sitting there he could not have a proper sleep and that was what he
needed most, since he had to go on duty at six. But with the mulishness he
displayed since becoming a bank attendant he always insisted on staying
longer at the table, although he regularly fell asleep again and finally
only with the greatest trouble could be persuaded to relinquish his
armchair and go to bed. However insistently Gregor's mother and sister
kept urging him with gentle reminders, he would go on slowly shaking his
head for a quarter of an hour, keeping his eyes shut, and refuse to get to
his feet. The mother plucked at his sleeve, whispering endearments in his
ear, the sister left her lessons to come to her mother's help, but it all
made little impression on Gregor's father. He would only sink down deeper
in his chair. Not until the Two women hoisted him up by the armpits did he
open his eyes and look at them both, one after the other, usually with the
remark, "What a life. So this is the peace and quiet of my old
age." And leaning on the Two of them he would heave himself up, with
difficulty, as if he were his own greatest burden, permit them to lead him
as far as the door, and then wave them away and go on alone, while the
mother threw down her needlework and the sister her pen in order to run
after him and be of further assistance.
Who could find time in this overworked and tired-out family to
bother about Gregor more than was absolutely necessary? The household was
reduced more and more; the maid was now let go; a gigantic bony cleaning
woman with white hair flying around her head came in mornings and evenings
to do the rough work; Gregor's mother did all the rest, as well as all her
sewing. Even various pieces of family jewelry, which his mother and sister
had loved to wear at parties and celebrations, had to be sold, as Gregor
discovered one evening from hearing them discuss the prices obtained. But
what they lamented most was the fact that they could not leave the
apartment, which was much too big for their present circumstances, because
they could not think of any way to transfer Gregor. Yet Gregor saw well
enough that consideration for him was not the main difficulty preventing
the move, for they could easily have carried him in some suitable box with
a few air holes in it; what really kept them from moving into another
apartment was rather their own complete hopelessness and the belief that
they had been singled out for a misfortune such as had never happened to
any of their relations or acquaintances. They fulfilled to the utmost all
that the world demands of poor people: the father fetched breakfast for
the minor clerks in the bank, the mother devoted her energy to making
underwear for strangers, the sister trotted back and forth behind the
counter at the demand of her customers, but more than this they had not
the strength to do. And the wound in Gregor's back began to hurt him
afresh when his mother and sister, after getting his father into bed, came
back again, left their work lying, drew close to each other, and sat cheek
by cheek—when his mother, pointing toward his room, said, “Shut that
door now, Grete," and he was left again in darkness, while next door
the women mingled their tears or perhaps sat dry-eyed, staring at the
table.
Gregor hardly slept at all now, night or day. He was often haunted
by the idea that the next time the door opened he would take the family's
affairs in hand again just as he used to do; once again after this long
interval, there appeared in his thoughts the figures of the boss and the
chief clerk, the salesmen and the apprentices, the messenger boy who was
so dull-witted, Twoor three friends in other firms, a chambermaid in one
of the rural hotels, a sweet and fleeting memory, a cashier in a
milliner's shop, whom he had courted earnestly but too slowly—they all
appeared, together with strangers or people he had quite forgotten, but
instead of helping him and his family they were all inaccessible and he
was glad when they vanished. At other times he would not be in the mood to
bother about his family, he was only filled with rage at the way they were
neglecting him, and although he could not imagine what he might
like to eat he would make plans for getting into the pantry to take the
food that, after all, was due him, hungry or not. His sister no longer
gave a second thought now to what might especially please him, but in the
morning and at noon before she went to work hurriedly pushed into his room
with her foot any food that was available, and in the evening cleared it
out again with one sweep of the broom, heedless of whether it had been
nibbled at, or—as most frequently happened—left completely untouched.
The cleaning of his room, which she now always did in the evenings, could
not have been done more hastily. Streaks of dirt were smeared along the
walls, here and there lay balls of dust and filth. At first Gregor used to
station himself in some particularly filthy corner when his sister arrived
in order to reproach her with it, so to speak. But he could have sat there
for weeks without getting her to make any improvement; she could see the
dirt as well as he did, but she had simply made up her mind to leave it
alone. And yet, with a touchiness that was new to her, and which seemed,
moreover, to have infected the whole family, she jealously guarded her
claim to be the sole caretaker of Gregor's room. His mother once subjected
his room to a thorough cleaning, which was achieved only by means of
several buckets of water—all this dampness of course upset Gregor too
and he lay stretched out, sulky and motionless on the sofa—but she was
well punished for it. Hardly had his sister noticed the changed aspect of
his room that eve-evening than she rushed mortally offended into the living
room and, despite the imploringly raised hands of her mother, burst into a
storm of weeping, while her parents—her father had of course been
startled out of his chair—looked on at first in helpless amazement; then
they too began to go into action; the father reproached the mother on his
right for not having left the cleaning of Gregor's room to his sister;
shrieked at the sister on his left that never again would she be allowed
to clean Gregor's room; while the mother tried to drag the father into his
bedroom since he was beside himself with agitation; the sister, shaken
with sobs, then beat upon the table with her small fists; and Gregor
hissed loudly with rage because not one of them thought of shutting the
door to spare him such a spectacle and so much noise.
Still, even if the sister, exhausted by her daily work, had grown tired of
looking after Gregor as she formerly did, there was no need at all for his
mother's intervention or for Gregor's being neglected. The cleaning woman
was there. This old widow, whose strong and bony frame had enabled her to
survive the worst a long life could offer, had no particular aversion to
Gregor. Without being in the least inquisitive she had once by chance
opened the door to his room and at the sight of Gregor, who, taken by
surprise, began to rush to and fro although no one was chasing him, merely
stood there in amazement with her arms folded. From that time on she never
failed to open his door a little for a moment, morning and evening, to
have a look at him. At first she even used to call him to her, with words
which apparently she meant to be friendly, such as: "Come on over
here, you old dung beetle!” or “Will you look at that old dung
beetle!" To such forms of address Gregor made no answer, but stayed
motionless where he was, as if the door had never been opened. Instead of
being allowed to disturb him so senselessly whenever the whim took her,
that servant should have been ordered instead to clean out his room daily.
Once, early in the morning—heavy rain was lashing at the windowpanes,
perhaps a sign that spring was on its way—Gregor was so exasperated when
she began addressing him again that he turned and went toward her as if to
attack her, although slowly and feebly enough. But the cleaning woman,
instead of being afraid, merely picked up a chair that happened to be
beside the door, held it high, and as she stood there with her mouth wide
open it was clear that she meant to shut it only after she brought the
chair down on Gregor's back. “Not coming any closer, then?" she
asked, as Gregor turned away again, and quietly put the chair back into
the corner.
Gregor was now eating hardly anything. Only when he happened to
pass the food laid out for him did he take a bit of something in his mouth
as a kind of game, kept it there for hours at a time, and usually spat it
out again. At first he thought it was chagrin over the state of his room
that prevented him from eating, yet in fact he very quickly got used to
the various changes in his room. It had become a habit in the family to
put things into his room for which there was no space elsewhere, and there
were plenty of these things now, since one of the rooms had been rented to
three boarders. These serious gentlemen—all three of them with full
beards, as Gregor once observed through a crack in the door—had a
passion for order, not only in their own room but, since they were now
members of the household, in all its arrangements, especially in the
kitchen. They could not endure useless, let alone dirty, clutter. Besides,
they had brought with them most of the furnishings they needed. For this
reason many things could be dispensed with that it was no use trying to
sell but that should not be thrown away either. All of them found their
way into Gregor's room. The ash can likewise and the kitchen garbage can.
Anything that was not needed for the moment was simply flung into Gregor's
room by the cleaning woman, who did everything in a hurry; fortunately
Gregor usually saw only the object, whatever it was, and the hand that
held it. Perhaps she intended to take the things away again as time and
opportunity offered, or to collect them until she could throw them all out
in a heap, but in fact they just lay wherever she happened to throw them,
except when Gregor pushed his way through the junk heap and arranged it
somewhat, at first out of necessity because he had no room to crawl around
in, but later with increasing enjoyment, although after such excursions,
being sad and weary to death, he would lie motionless for hours.
Since the boarders often ate their supper at home in the common
living room, the living-room door stayed shut many an evening, yet Gregor
reconciled himself quite easily to the shutting of the door, for often
enough on evenings when it was opened he had disregarded it entirely and
lain in the darkest corner of his room, quite unnoticed by the family. On
one occasion the cleaning woman had left the door open a little and it
stayed ajar even when the lodgers came in for supper and the lamp was lit.
They sat down at the upper end of the table where formerly Gregor and his
father and mother had eaten their meals, unfolded their napkins and took
knife and fork in hand. At once his mother appeared in the doorway with a
platter of meat and close behind her his sister with a bowl of potatoes
piled high. The food steamed with a thick vapor. The boarders bent over
the food set before them as if to scrutinize it before eating; in fact,
the man in the middle, who seemed to pass for an authority with the other
Two, cut a piece of meat as it lay on the platter, obviously to determine
if it was tender enough or should be sent back to the kitchen. He was
satisfied, and Gregor’s mother and sister, who had been watching
anxiously, breathed a sigh of relief and began to smile.
The family itself took its meals in the kitchen. Nonetheless,
Gregor's father came into the living room before going to the kitchen and
with one prolonged bow, cap in hand, made a round of the table. The
boarders all stood up and muttered something in their beards. When they
were alone again they ate their food in almost complete silence. It seemed
remarkable to Gregor that among the various noises coming from the table
he could always distinguish the sound of their chewing teeth, as if this
were a sign to Gregor that one needed teeth in order to eat, and that even
with the finest of toothless jaws one could do nothing. “I'm certainly
hungry," said Gregor sadly to himself, "but not for that kind of
food. How these boarders are stuffing themselves, and here am I dying of
starvation!"
On that very evening—during all this time Gregor could not
remember ever having heard the violin—the sound of violin playing came
from the kitchen. The boarders had already finished their supper, the one
in the middle had brought out a newspaper and given the other Two page
apiece, and now they were leaning back at ease reading and smoking. When
the violin began to play they pricked up their ears, got to their feet,
and went on tiptoe to the hall door where they stood huddled together.
Their movements must have been heard in the kitchen, for Gregor’s father
called out: "Is the violin playing disturbing you, gentlemen? It can
be stopped at once." "On the contrary," said the middle
boarder, "wouldn't the young lady like to join us here and play where
it is much more pleasant and comfortable?" "Oh certainly,"
cried Gregor's father, as if he were the violin player. The boarders
returned to the living room and waited. Soon Gregor's father arrived with
the music stand, his mother carrying the music and his sister with the
violin. His sister calmly made everything ready to start playing; his
parents, who had never let rooms before and so had an exaggerated idea of
the courtesy due to boarders, did not venture to sit down on their own
chairs; his father leaned against the door, his right hand thrust between
Two buttons of his uniform jacket, which was formally buttoned up; but his
mother was offered a chair by one of the boarders and, since she left the
chair just where he had happened to put it, sat down in a corner off to
one side.
Gregor's sister began to play; the father and mother, from either
side, intently watched the movements of her hands. Gregor, attracted by
the playing, ventured to move forward a little until his head was actually
inside the living room. He felt hardly any surprise at his growing lack of
consideration for the others; there had been a time when he prided himself
on being considerate. Yet on this occasion he had more reason than ever to
hide himself, since owing to the amount of dust that lay thick in his room
and rose into the air at the slightest movement, he too was covered with
dust; fluff and hair and remnants of food trailed with him, caught on his
back and along his sides; his indifference to everything was much too
great for him to turn on his back and scrape himself clean on the carpet,
as once he had done several times a day. And in spite of his condition, no
shame deterred him from advancing a little over the spotless floor of the
living room.
To be sure, no one paid any attention to him. The family was
entirely absorbed in the violin playing; the boarders however, who at
first had stationed themselves, hands in pockets, much too close behind
the music stand so that they could all have read the music, something
which must have bothered his sister, had soon retreated to the window,
half whispering with bowed heads, and stayed there while his father turned
an anxious eye on them. Indeed, they were making it more than obvious that
they had been disappointed in their expectation of hearing good or even
entertaining violin playing, that they had had more than enough of the
performance, and that they were putting up with this disturbance of their
peace only out of courtesy. From the way they all kept blowing the smoke
of their cigars high in the air through nose and mouth one could divine
their irritation. And yet Gregor’s sister was playing so beautifully.
Her face tilted to one side, intently and sadly her eyes followed the
notes of music. Gregor crawled a little farther forward and lowered his
head to the ground so that it might be possible for his eyes to meet hers.
Was he an animal, since music so moved him? He felt as if the way were
opening before him to the unknown nourishment he craved. He was determined
to push forward until he reached his sister, to pull at her skirt and so
let her know that she should come into his room with her violin, for no
one here appreciated her playing as he would appreciate it. He would never
let her out of his room, at least not so long as he lived; his frightful
appearance would become, for the first time, useful to him; he would watch
over all the doors of his room at once and hiss like a dragon at any
intruders; but his sister would not be forced to stay, she would stay with
him of her own free will; she would sit beside him on the sofa, bend down
her ear to him, and hear him confide that he had had the firm intention of
sending her to the Conservatory and that, but for his mishap last
Christmas—surely Christmas was long past?—he would have announced it
to everybody without allowing a single objection. After this declaration
his sister would be so touched that she would burst into tears, and Gregor
would then raise himself to her shoulder and kiss her on the neck, which,
now that she was a young working woman, she kept free of any ribbon or
collar.
“Mr. Samsa!" cried the middle boarder to Gregor's father,
and pointed, without wasting any more words, at Gregor, now working
himself slowly forward. The violin fell silent, the middle boarder first
smiled to his friends with a shake of the head and then looked at Gregor
again. Instead of driving Gregor out, his father seemed to think it more
important to begin by soothing down the boarders, although they were not
at all agitated and apparently found Gregor more entertaining than the
violin playing. He hurried toward them and, spreading out his arms, tried
to urge them back into their own room and at the same time to block their
view of Gregor. They now began to be really a little angry, one could not
tell whether because of the old man's behavior or because it had just
dawned on them that without knowing it they had such a neighbor as Gregor
in the next room. They demanded explanations of his father, they waved
their arms like him, tugged uneasily at their beards, and only with
reluctance backed toward their room. Meanwhile Gregor's sister, who stood
there as if lost when her playing was so abruptly broken off, came to life
again, pulled herself together all at once after standing for a while
holding violin and bow in her slack and drooping hands and staring at her
music, pushed her violin into the lap of her mother, who was still sitting
in her chair fighting asthmatically for breath, and ran into the boarders'
room, to which they were now being shepherded by her father rather more
quickly than before. One could see the pillows and blankets on the beds
flying about under her practiced fingers and being laid in order. Even
before the boarders had actually reached their room she had finished
making the beds and slipped out.
The father seemed once more to be so possessed by his mulish
self-assertiveness that he was forgetting all the respect he owed his
boarders. He kept driving them on and driving them on until, at the very
door of the bedroom, the middle boarder stamped his foot loudly on the
floor and so brought him to a halt. “I herewith declare," said the
boarder, lifting one hand and looking also at Gregor's mother and sister,
"that because of the disgusting conditions prevailing in this
household and family”—here he spat on the floor with emphatic
brevity—“I give you notice on the spot. Naturally I won't pay you a
penny for the days I have lived here, on the contrary I shall consider
suing you for damages, based on claims—believe me—that will be easily
substantiated." He ceased and stared straight ahead, as if he were
expecting something. In fact, his Two friends at once rushed into the
breach with these words: “And we too give notice on the spot." At
that he seized the door handle and shut the door with a slam.
Gregor's father, groping with his hands, staggered forward and fell
into his chair; it looked as if he were stretching himself out there for
his usual evening nap, but the powerful and uncontrolled jerking of his
head showed that he was far from asleep. Gregor had simply stayed quietly
all the time on the spot where the boarders had caught sight of him.
Disappointment at the failure of his plan, perhaps also the weakness
arising from extreme hunger, made it impossible for him to move. He
feared, with a fair degree of certainty, that at any moment the general
tension would discharge itself in a combined attack upon him, and he lay
there waiting. He did not react even to the noise made by the violin as it
fell off his mother's lap from under her trembling fingers and gave out a
resonant sound.
"My dear parents,” said his sister, slapping her hand on the
table by way of introduction "things can't go on like this. Perhaps
you don't realize that, but I do. I won't utter my brother's name in the
presence of this creature, and so all I say is: we must try to get rid of
it. We've tried to look after it and to put up with it as far as is
humanly possible, and I don't think anyone could reproach us in the
slightest."
"She is absolutely right,” said Gregor's father to himself.
His mother, who was still choking for lack of breath, began to cough
hollowly into her hand with a wild look in her eyes.
His sister rushed over to her and held her forehead. His father's
thoughts seemed to have lost their vagueness at Grete's words, he sat more
upright, fingering his service cap, which lay among the plates still on
the table from the boarders' supper, and from time to time looked at the
motionless form of Gregor.
"We must try to get rid of it," his sister now said
explicitly to her father, since her mother was coughing too much to hear a
word, "it will be the death of both of you, I can see that coming.
When one has to work as hard as we do, all of us, one can't stand this
continual torment at home on top of it. At least I can't stand it any
longer." And she burst into such a fit of sobbing that her tears
dropped onto her mother's face, from which she wiped them with mechanical
flicks of her hand.
"My child," said the old man sympathetically and with
evident understanding, "but what should we do?”
Gregor's sister merely shrugged her shoulders to indicate the
feeling of helplessness that, in contrast to her former confidence, had
overtaken her during her weeping fit.
"If only he could understand us,” said her father, half
questioningly; Grete, still sobbing, vehemently waved a hand to show how
unthinkable that was.
"If he could understand us," repeated the old man,
shutting his eyes to consider his daughter's conviction that un-distending was impossible, "then perhaps we might come to some
agreement with him. But as it is . . “He must go," cried
Gregor's sister, "that's the only solution, Father. You must just try
to get rid of the idea that this is Gregor. The fact that we've believed
it for so long is the root of all our misfortune. But how can it be
Gregor? If this were Gregor, he would have realized long ago that human
beings can't live with such a creature, and he'd have gone away of his own
accord. We wouldn't have any brother then, but we'd be able to go on
living and keep his memory in honor. As it is, this creature persecutes
us, drives away our boarders, obviously wants the whole apartment to
himself, and would have us all sleep in the gutter. Look, Father,"
she suddenly shrieked, “he's at it again!" And in a state of panic
that was quite incomprehensible to Gregor she even left her mother's side,
literally thrusting the chair from her as if she would rather sacrifice
her mother than be anywhere near Gregor, and rushed behind her father, who
also stood up, upset by her behavior, and half spread his arms out as if
to protect her.
Yet Gregor hadn't the slightest intention of frightening anyone,
least of all his sister. He had only begun to turn around in order to
crawl back to his room, but it was certainly a startling operation to see,
since because of his disabled condition he could not execute the difficult
turning movements except by lifting his head and then bracing it against
the floor over and over again. He paused and looked around. His good
intentions seemed to have been recognized; the alarm had only been
momentary. Now they were all watching him in melancholy silence. His
mother lay in her chair, her legs stiffly outstretched and pressed
together, her eyes almost closing from sheer exhaustion; his father and
his sister were sitting beside each other, his sister's arm around the
father's neck.
Now perhaps they'll let me go on turning around,
thought Gregor, and began his labors again. He could not stop himself from
panting with the effort, and had to pause now and then to take a breath.
Nor was anyone rushing him, he was left entirely to himself. When he had
completed the turn, he began at once to crawl straight back. He was amazed
at the distance separating him from his room and could not understand how
in his weak state he had managed to accomplish the same journey so
recently, almost without noticing it. Intent on crawling as fast as
possible he hardly realized that not a single word, not one exclamation
from his family, interfered with his progress. Only when he was already in
the doorway did he turn his head around, not completely, for his neck
muscles were getting stiff, but enough to see that nothing had changed
behind him except that his sister had risen to her feet. His last glance
fell on his mother, who was now sound asleep.
Hardly was he inside his room when the door was hast-ily pushed
shut, bolted, and locked. The sudden noise be-hind him startled him so
much that his little legs collapsed beneath him. It was his sister who had
shown such haste. She had been standing ready, waiting, and had made a
light spring forward, Gregor had not even heard her coming, and she cried
"At last!" to her parents as she turned the Key in the lock.
"And now?" Gregor asked himself, looking around in the
darkness. Soon he made the discovery that he was now completely unable to
move. This did not surprise him, rather it seemed unnatural that he should
ever actually have been able to move at all on these feeble little legs.
Otherwise he felt relatively comfortable. True, his whole body was aching,
but it seemed that the pain was gradually growing less and would finally
pass away. The rotting apple in his back and the inflamed area around it,
all covered with soft dust, already hardly troubled him. He thought of his
family with tenderness and love. The conviction that he must disappear was
one that he held even more strongly than his sister, if that were
possible. In this state of empty and peaceful meditation he remained until
the tower clock struck three in the morning. The first broadening of light
in the world outside the window just entered his consciousness. Then his
head sank to the floor of its own accord and from his nostrils came the
last faint flicker of his breath.
When the cleaning woman arrived early in the morning out of sheer
strength and impatience she slammed all the doors so loudly, regardless of
how often she had been begged not to do so, that no one in the whole
apartment could enjoy any quiet sleep after her arrival—she noticed
nothing unusual as she took her customary peek into Gregor’s room. She
thought he was lying motionless on pur-pose, pretending to be in a sulk;
she credited him with every kind of intelligence. Since she happened to
have the long-handled broom in her hand she tried to tickle him with it
from the doorway. When that too produced no reaction she felt provoked and
poked at him a little harder, and only when she had pushed him along the
floor without meeting any resistance was her attention aroused. Soon the
truth of the matter dawned on her, her eyes widened, she let out a
whistle, yet did not waste much time over it but tore open the door of the
Samsas’ bedroom and yelled into the darkness at the top of her voice:
"Come look at this, it's dead; it's lying there, dead as a
doornail!"
Mr. and Mrs. Samsa sat bolt upright in their double bed and had
some difficulty getting over the shock before they realized the nature of
the cleaning woman's announcement. But then they got out of bed quickly,
one on either side, Mr. Samsa throwing a blanket over his shoulders, Mrs.
Samsa in nothing but her nightgown; in this array they entered Gregor's
room. Meanwhile the door of the living room opened, too, where Grete had
been sleeping since the arrival of the boarders; she was completely
dressed, as if she had not been to bed, which seemed to be confirmed
also by the paleness of her face. "Dead?" said Mrs. Samsa,
looking questioningly at the cleaning woman, although she could have
investigated for herself, indeed the fact was obvious enough without
investigation. "I should say so," said the cleaning woman, and
to prove it she pushed Gregor's corpse a long way to one side with her
broomstick; Mrs. Samsa made a movement as if to stop her, but checked
herself. "Well," said Mr. Samsa, "now thanks be to
God." He crossed himself, and the three women followed his example.
Grete, whose eyes never left the corpse, said: "Just see how thin he
was. It’s such a long time since he ate anything at all. The food came
out again just as it went in." Indeed, Gregor's |